Forgive yourself! Here are a few signs to show that you have not forgiven yourself.
You experienced abuse and fully admit that the event was not your fault. Deep down, you wonder what the outcome would be if you did not do, go, or say things against your better judgment. Even if you were not in a position to choose on your own, these thoughts still run through your mind. This is a sign that you have not forgiven yourself!
Stay with me (it gets long but has a lot of helpful info)…
You stand up and move beyond your traumatic event (abuse, failed relationship, a bad habit, etc.) by dusting yourself off and giving yourself another chance. A pop-quiz comes into your life and you have a pass or fail grade coming your way. The person greets you with a smile, makes you feel safe and alive, and offers you to experience this feeling again. You think you can handle yourself because you have learned, grown, and healed from the experience that knocked you down. The habit can no longer claim you, fear can no longer keep you from life, and you know this person is better than the last so you are ready to take another step forward. **Depending on the situation, this type of reasoning is your signal that you should NOT do what it is that you are persuading yourself to do. When you decide to go against the reasoning to stay away, you fail the pop-quiz and now the quiz becomes a test; a test of you continuing to reason with the voice telling you to run from whatever situation you are in whether you physically see it or not at this time.
Do you see how you have NOT forgiven yourself for your past? You blame yourself for something you likely had no control over at that time. You think that because you have grown, matured, or learned defense mechanisms that you are able to do what that small voice tells you not to do. You have grown to not trust yourself. You do not trust yourself because you have not truly forgiven yourself.
That small voice (your first mind) should not be ignored. Did you know that if you do not forgive yourself then you will NOT heed your first mind, that initial thought/gut feeling because you subconsciously feel that it let you down long ago. If your first mind were always right then you would have done things differently in the initial situation to avoid that pain, abuse, disrespect, embarrassment, etc. Make sense?
The longer you refuse to forgive yourself, the deeper you dig to determine what you should do. If you continue to hold things against yourself then you will keep going in circles.
It takes a LOT more words to fully explain this but trust me. Take a self- assessment. Let’s use sexual abuse because it’s my specialty. If you enter a relationship and you have not forgiven yourself and healed those wounds associated with the abuse, you see that person and begin to admire them even if your initial thought was to stay away from that person. Within two solid weeks of you knowing that person, you saw signs that it was not going to be a good fit. You ignored it because you wanted to give that person the benefit of a doubt. A month is about to come to pass and you have more reasons why it will not work. But is it them or you that has the issue? How will you get beyond the trust issues and pain associated with your past unless you give your all? You opt to give your all and eventually realize that your all was not good enough. Giving your all puts you in another situation to be disrespected, shamed, or taken advantage of by a different person. Now you have even more reasons not to trust yourself. Do you see how you are going in circles?
When you refuse to forgive yourself it appears in relationships (friends and potential mates), daily decisions (career, finances, health, etc.), and major decisions.
I have tried to condense this information for you in an effort to help you.
Again, I have over 20 years’ experience in helping others with these and many more hidden barriers to living an abundant life. If you desire one-on-one assistance then I am willing to work with you to get you on track.
#Forgive, #AbundantLife, #SexualAbuse